Come Up You Fearful Jesuit

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Month: July 2011

Creature and Creator

Posted on July 30, 2011 in Introspection

Between the still-recent but fast-receding vacation and the period of injury that preceded it, going back to Kung Fu has been incredibly grueling. I’ve spent a couple of days this week feeling like I was stoned because of the previous class, and my glorious return to sparring yesterday was pretty gruesome. Unfortunately, this is the sort of thing you just have to put up with if you want to fix it. Hopefully once I stop stumbling about in a fog from the abuse I’ll be surprised to find that I actually feel pretty great.

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The Return

Posted on July 20, 2011 in Identity Reality As Such

As has been mentioned elsewhere, I was in France for a while. Now I’m back. I’m not. . . thrilled. Now I’m kind of figuring out what’s going to change and what’s going to stay the same. As you probably know, C is moving out some time around September in order to teach in a slightly less harrowing environment. While this is a bit complicated, to say the least, it’s also probably a bit of an improvement in terms of everyone’s mental state, and if our contacts become less frequent, at least the odds of me feeling appreciated during them will be increased.

The big thing, though, is a sort of shift in my sort of mental state regarding my, I don’t know, let’s say “condition” for lack of a better word. I think that in a lot of ways living with C and S has created a sort of suspension or deferral where I’m sort of waiting for things to happen in regard to them, and now that’s gone so I have to do things now, which is going to be strange. I’m not sure I’m up for that any more. I’m not even really very clear on what things are. I guess I’m just going to have to keep my eyes open.