As has been mentioned elsewhere, I was in France for a while. Now I’m back. I’m not. . . thrilled. Now I’m kind of figuring out what’s going to change and what’s going to stay the same. As you probably know, C is moving out some time around September in order to teach in a slightly less harrowing environment. While this is a bit complicated, to say the least, it’s also probably a bit of an improvement in terms of everyone’s mental state, and if our contacts become less frequent, at least the odds of me feeling appreciated during them will be increased.
The big thing, though, is a sort of shift in my sort of mental state regarding my, I don’t know, let’s say “condition” for lack of a better word. I think that in a lot of ways living with C and S has created a sort of suspension or deferral where I’m sort of waiting for things to happen in regard to them, and now that’s gone so I have to do things now, which is going to be strange. I’m not sure I’m up for that any more. I’m not even really very clear on what things are. I guess I’m just going to have to keep my eyes open.