Why is the Patraeus Resignation a Mystery?

So people are casting madly about for some hidden reason behind Patraeus’ resignation over an affair. I’m fairly certain that things are a lot simpler than all these speculations are making them out to be. Look, lady wasn’t getting the feedback from law enforcement that she wanted, so she went directly to a guy who’d been sending her shirtless pictures of himself. That guy kept badgering people involved in the actual investigation, so they told him to shut up and go away. Rather than realize it was because he’s annoying, this guy suspects a massive coverup. Because he’s a total wingnut, he assumes that the coverup is to protect Obama. He goes (who knows how) directly to the Speaker of the Fucking House! Because the Speaker of the Fucking House is also a batshit crazy maniac, he decides to steamroll forward without telling any salient committees, because he too is clearly convinced that he’s going to nail Obama this time.

Then they find a long-term affair undertaken by their all-time hero, four-star shill David Patraeus

The resignation was taking one for the team. He quit so that would occupy the news cycle, rather than the more important story that the Republican Party, right up to its key leadership, are a bunch of lunatic conspiracy-theorists with no respect whatsoever for the rule of law.

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